A Legacy of Strong Women 

Dorothy Easson VanderPutten

- Jean's Song -

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September 4, 2000 

Well how are you doing my mother, my own. Do you mind if I sit here down by your gravestone?

Iíd like to explain why Iím feeling so blue. My therapist thought I should go talk to you.

The time has come to get things off my chest; to face all the demons unleashed by your death.

I've hidden my feelings for 44 years, now Iíve got to release them and thatís why Iím here.

Chorus:

You were too young to die; I was too young to lose you. Iím angry, & saddened & empty & pained

You should never have left me so early! Now your memory is all that remains.


The bronchitis you got smoking Kool cigarettes was a factor that led to your premature death.

The drug that they gave you to treat this disease caused the production of blood cells to cease.

Why did you continue to smoke and inhale? RJ Reynolds et al can all go straight to hell!

Iíll never forget what those "weeds" took from me, and that you played a part in your own destiny!

Chorus:

You were too young to die; I was too young to lose you. Iím angry, & saddened & empty & pained

You should never have left me so early! Now your memory is all that remains.


I finished a puzzle that you never saw. I never said Ďbye when you walked out the door.

Abandoned when I was still just a kid, do you have any idea what your dying did?

I learned to keep all my emotions inside. Nobody told me it was OK to cry.

Relationships faltered, ambitions were tossed, I was crushed by the burden of what I had I lost.

Chorus:

You were too young to die; I was too young to lose you. Iím angry, & saddened & empty & pained

You should never have left me so early! Now your memory is all that remains.


My childhood was shortened, my adulthood was changed. I had to start my life all over again.

The cue from the family still cuts like a knife: "Mom left us, get over it, get on with your life".

My grief never mentioned, my turmoil ignored, all alone in a world of emotional wars.

I needed a hug, just a word or a smile, but all that I got was a sea of denial.

Chorus:

You were too young to die; I was too young to lose you. Iím angry, & saddened & empty & pained

You should never have left me so early! Now your memory is all that remains.


My first blush of womanhood came with a scare. No mom to assure me that bloodís normal there.

I thought I was dying, my fears magnified because it was only six months since you died.

Iím an insecure person because you werenít there to listen, to shelter, to cuddle, to care.

Robbed of the comfort & warmth of your arms, I sometimes forget that I once had a mom.

Chorus:

You were too young to die; I was too young to lose you. Iím angry, & saddened & empty & pained

You should never have left me so early! Now your memory is all that remains.


Your musical legacyís both good and bad. Iím grateful, but sometimes it makes me feel sad.

A tragedy got in the way of a chance to share with its giver this inheritance.

I long for the music that we might have played. Oh the fun weíd have had if you only had stayed!

Of all of the hundreds of things that I lost, this is the one that Iíll always miss most.

Chorus:

You were too young to die; I was too young to lose you. Iím angry, & saddened & empty & pained

You should never have left me so early! Now your memory is all that remains.


Iím angry you left me, Iím angry youíre gone. I canít believe Iíve been angry so long.

Iíve been told that my healing will not be complete until all this anger has been released.

So Iíll scream it, Iíll yell it; Iíll shout it until my traumatized psyche lies peaceful & still.

I hate you for dying & leaving in haste! Mom I love you but I despise all this waste.


You were too young to die; I was too young to lose you. Iím angry, & saddened & empty & pained.

Goddamit! You left way too early, now your memory is all that remains.